Squishy asked me about a boy the other day. She’s SIX! She came to me with her serious face on and made me pinky promise not to tell her Pawpaw what she was about to tell me, because he just wouldn’t get it. She wanted to know how to approach this boy without being “weird.” Apparently in kindergarten it is perfectly acceptable to “go together” or be “boyfriend-girlfriend.” One girl even kissed a boy!
I was quite happy that she felt comfortable sharing her secrets with me and asking for my advice. I always imagined this is what having a little girl would be like. Of course I also thought this day wouldn’t come until she was 30-ish.
I paused, not sure what to say. Do I encourage this pint sized love, or do I tell her the truth…that boys have cooties and are always sticky? Mentally my head exploded into a million pieces. I could feel a weird tingling in my arm and Squishy asked me why my eye was twitching. This is my baby…and I still remember when my kindergarten crush broke my heart.
His name was Marshal, and he was cute as a button. Blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and the neatest bowl cut you ever did see. I was smitten. Being a shy child, it took me a long time to work up the nerve to tell him.
We were headed to the water fountain. I tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned to look at me. In that moment, I was certain we were going to get married on the playground one day and make one of our friends pretend to be our new puppy.
Just as I opened my mouth to profess my love…
“Hey, Marshall! Look at this!”
I turned and stared in horror as another girl (a horrid, horrid little girl) turned around and mooned us. My jaw dropped. The girl just pantsed herself to get his attention. And worst of all…it worked! I was crushed. They ended up married on the playground with a dog and a baby. Imgaine that. I bet poor Marshal really does have cooties by now.
I decided to tell Squishy she should just ask him to play. No need to be “a couple.” (That just gives me the heebie-jeebies!) And then I may or may not have told her to tell him that if he hurt her feelings I was going to hunt him down and eat his snack. Every. Single. Day.